


to build a home

by utsu



Series: Between the Trees [7]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Kimono, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prompt Fic, Slow Burn, Summer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 01:28:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11772624
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/utsu/pseuds/utsu
Summary: SasuHina Month Prompt, Day 11:Kimono.The sun rose slowly over the mountains, reaching, reaching. The birds continued to sing around him; symphony of the evergreens. Somewhere in the safety of the village, Hinata slept peacefully.Sasuke closed his eyes and let the sunlight bathe his face in morning gold, kissing each of his features with the gentlest warmth.And then, quietly, he began to whistle.





	to build a home

Uchiha Sasuke had a secret.

It wasn’t anything groundbreaking or shocking, really, but it was private and it was his and as such, he coveted it closely. The only people who knew about it were his teammates and his sensei, of which he had grown up with and spent many, many early mornings training.

He liked to watch the sun rise over the mountains.

He wasn’t sure if he’d call it a hobby, per say, but he enjoyed it. Years ago he’d gone out into the forest outside of Konoha’s gates, found the highest and most secure network of branches as high in the Konoha canopies that he could trust, and it was there that he built himself a home. He’d spent two summers getting it right—using his hands to build, for once, rather than to destroy.

Naruto liked to make fun of him, ask him frequently if he thought he was a monkey. Sakura would laugh, too, and say instead, “Not a monkey, but a bird.”

He wouldn’t mind the ability to fly—he was fast enough that he nearly _could_ —and birds had beautiful voices. They were surefire and carefree; they wanted to sing, so they did. He admired that.

So he spent as many mornings as he could there, up in the trees, where the sunlight first touched his world. He watched the molten waves of gold and rose rise over the sky and transform the air into something light and tranquil.

The first summer after he built himself a space into the canopies was the first summer he assented to attend the summer festival with his team. He didn’t care much for the show of it—something about the sheer number of families packed so close made him uneasy.

But, like every year before, Hinata had asked him if he’d like to join her. She did so gently, as was her way; she didn’t pester or push or judge. She came to him in the morning with fruits and vegetables freshly plucked from her garden and washed them in his kitchen. The dirt on their skins ran down the edges of his unblemished sink. Hinata’s hair had been tied back.

“Sasuke-san,” she said, with that infuriating courtesy of hers. Her nape had been exposed. “As you know, the summer festival begins tomorrow. If you’d like to join me this year, I will be leaving early tomorrow evening.”

Sasuke had said nothing, only watched the way she worked, comfortable in his home. It had taken her some time to gain that comfort, here so far behind the Uchiha gates, in the skeleton remains of his clan’s compound. The corner of his lips twisted, amusement playing in the corners of his eyes.

As if she’d senses his humor, she glanced over her shoulder and mirrored his expression with an added air of wariness.

“Why are you laughing?”

He loved her. It was simple, and effortless, and he loved her.

“Memories,” he’d said vaguely, charmed when her cheeks flushed even as she rolled her eyes and turned back to the produce she’d brought him. Even after years of courting her, he found her personality and reactions refreshing and so very easy to love. “Are you meeting up with your team?”

Hinata shook her head. “Not this year. I’m giving them privacy.”

Sasuke nodded slowly, contemplating. He had been mildly surprised to hear that Hinata’s two strange teammates had recently become an item themselves. The bug user was endlessly silent and contemplative, the complete opposite to the dog-loving tracker. From what Hinata told him, though, they made an oddly beautiful kind of sense.

He watched Hinata scrub and set aside various fruits, and all the while he considered her wording. _Privacy_. She was a good friend, thoughtful and kind. There was no meaning hidden beneath her words—she wasn’t attempting to persuade him in any way.

But the word _privacy_ festered in his mind. He wasn’t one to ignore a chance to have alone time with Hinata, regardless of the circumstances, and she had come to know it. Still, her wording did not seem manipulative and he knew her well enough to know it dependably.

He thought about the atmosphere of a festival, especially one as lively as one during summer, and his lip nearly curled. Despite his efforts to remain calm and his proclivity for privacy, he had shared his discomfort with the topic of families with Hinata early on in their relationship. He’d wanted her to know what she was agreeing to— _who_ she was agreeing to.

He was a patchwork of jagged glasswork still slowly being put back together, his hands scarred but still reaching for the pieces. When he thought of family, he thought of loss, of blood, of betrayal. It took him noticeable time to think, instead, of teammates. Of Hinata loving him so gently, so kindly, despite all of his misgivings.

He stood silently and went to her. His hands slid around her, his chin resting in the dip of her neck. He watched with heavy eyes and an equally heavy heart as her hands worked, the slight rigidity of her surprise seeping out of her in moments. She rested back against him and together they watched the water pour over her scarred fingers, over the red skins of strawberries.

Sasuke turned his head until his lips ghosted over her skin, her nervous pulse.

He said, “I will think about it.”

And Hinata turned to him, pressing her forehead to his temple. He could feel her eyelashes on his skin, ghosting over his cheekbones.

“Thank you,” she whispered, and her unfailing gentleness overwhelmed him, just as it had the very first time he realized she loved him. She had a way of making him feel spiritual, as though the way she loved him so tenderly could rekindle in him a kind of faith he’d long since lost.

Sometimes, when she looked at him, he felt the urge to drop to his knees.

It had been years since she confessed to him—and years longer even than that, that he had been confessing to her. Three years he had spent courting her in his own way, culminating in a moment of utmost intimacy: Hinata willing and kind in his arms, and his lips at her ear.

 _I am yours_ , he had whispered, _body and soul_.

He thought of what it meant to build a home, thought of the one he had built in the canopies, and he thought of this: Hinata in his arms, pressing back against him, welcoming everything that he was.

And this, too, he could call home.

 

✧

 

He did not sleep that night.

Discomfort had always been too mild a word for what he felt about family. The medic in Sakura had diagnosed him immediately and carefully with post-traumatic stress disorder, and he had only nodded. He had known all along.

The thing about PTSD was that it came and went at its own leisure. There were no walls that his trauma could not break down and break through. It showed up constantly in his dreams, turned them to nightmares in just the same way that fire turns everything to ash.

He still struggled to sleep at night, even with Hinata at his side. For a while, she was a cure; her warmth and her curves became a familiar swatch of comfort and peace that somehow settled the chaos of his mind, the racing of his heart. But his trauma broke through that slight protection, too, and Sasuke began to live in fear.

Sometimes he woke swinging; sometimes he woke breathing fire. He struggled with keeping blades in his room for protection or removing them for _her_ protection, and subsided only when she comforted him. She told him to keep the blades. She told him she would stay, it was okay, she would stay.

She stayed. Despite the frequency of his episodes waking both of them throughout the night. Despite his icy stoicism after he fully woke from his nightmares, uncomfortable showing that kind of vulnerability to anyone, even the woman he loved. She stayed through it all, her hands a constant on his skin, in his hair, soothing everywhere they touched.

He didn’t deserve her.

She wanted to go to the summer festival. He knew, despite her never once pressuring him, that she wanted to go as a couple. Their relationship was no secret in the village, but this was the kind of thing that couples _did_. They had fun together in the nightlife of the land they protect, with the people they protect. They played games together and won each other prizes. They held hands and suffered the catcalls of their friends. They watched fireworks light up the evening sky.

The last festival he’d been to had been with—

He did not sleep that night. His thoughts raced and by the time he got dressed and headed out into the forest to climb into the canopy, there were lines of exhaustion over his face. They made him look like—

He watched the sun rise over the mountains. The birds called out, trilling. Sometimes, when Sasuke was feeling especially hopeful, he thought the birds were singing to him.

The sun rose over the mountains in slow-inching waves of liquefied gold. Sasuke felt the morning air, slightly chilly, slide over his nape and collarbones. He leaned against the bark and let his leg dangle in the air, kicking slightly. His heart was a drum complementing the singsong of wildlife around him.

Tonight was the summer festival’s opening evening. Hinata would be wearing a kimono, ornaments in her hair. She would be glowing, he thought, shining brighter than any other. The gentleness that came despite the violence of their world, it shone from within, bright and immeasurable.

Sasuke inhaled deeply, exhaled deeper. His heart began to change, to race as his thoughts finally began to settle. He had come to a decision, and though he might fear the unknown of the future, he would go through with it.

After all, he thought with affection, Hinata would be there with him.

The birds chirped, flashes of crimson and cobalt flashing in his periphery. His heartbeat plateaued, settled, began to fall back to normalcy. He reminded himself of Hinata’s patience, of the way she had opened up to him gradually, beautifully, a strangely astonishing flower that opened to moonlight despite knowing sunlight would be healthier.

The sun rose slowly over the mountains, reaching, reaching. The birds continued to sing around him; symphony of the evergreens. Somewhere in the safety of the village, Hinata slept peacefully.

Sasuke closed his eyes and let the sunlight bathe his face in morning gold, kissing each of his features with the gentlest warmth.

And then, quietly, he began to whistle.

 

✧

 

Sasuke’s secret was that he loved to watch the sun rise over the mountains. There was nothing so peaceful, so stunning, as the slow rise of dawn; the graceful spill of spring colors, every shade of lavender and rosen pastel; the way the sun turned every skyward-facing leaf a breathtaking shade of gold.

The memory of the morning sunrise was lost to him the moment she walked through the gates; she outshone it all.

Sasuke shifted, surprisingly self-conscious in his pristine navy hakama. Hinata didn’t show any expression of surprise—the moment she saw him her eyes became alight with excitement, with wonder. Her smile could’ve brought him to his knees.

“Sasuke,” she breathed, a reward and a marvel. She swept across the street to him with silent steps, the most striking wraith he’d ever encountered. Her kimono was the softest shade of rose, nearly pearl, with beautifully lined flowers sewn silken into the fabric. Her obi was a stark burgundy, with golden leaves the exact shade of his favorite sunrise etched in.

Her hair was pulled back in an elegant, twisted chignon. A single ornament clinked from her hair; a moon.

Sasuke went to her unconsciously, meeting her halfway.

 _You’re beautiful_ , he thought, pressing his lips to her temple. He felt her quiet laughter, a bubble of joy that escaped her at his presence, and his heart thudded heavily against his ribs. Regardless of what happened tonight, he had made the right choice. To have heard his name and only his name in her voice, to have felt her candid joy in this moment as his arms wound around her—it was all worth it.

She pulled back to look up at him through her eyelashes, blatantly affectionate, and Sasuke couldn’t help but to move even closer. He dipped low and pressed their lips together, tasting the fruity gloss she had there with a smile. He tasted her gasp of surprise and pulled her in closer by the dip of her back, feeling for all of her curves, the wide flare of her hips hidden under heavy fabric. He traced the edges of her teeth with his tongue and pulled playfully at her bottom lip before pulling back to see the damage he’d caused.

He caught it in her eyes, unfocused and heavy-lidded; her cheeks overturned palettes of rose.

“Hello, Hinata,” he greeted her cheekily, despite the fear that still sat below the surface.

“Hello,” she returned breathily, which only managed to embarrass her further. She pushed at him playfully, her hands against his chest. When he didn’t budge, he savored the chime of her laughter, the breathless sincerity of it. And then, because he was feeling especially self-indulgent, he bent to taste it.

This time, however, Hinata successfully pulled back from him, though not before allowing and encouraging another passionate kiss. She blinked up at him, laughter still playing over her features, and lifted her thumb to carefully wipe at his lower lip.

“Strawberry,” he said, smirking. Amusement wound around her as she took two measured steps back, clearing her throat as she noticed they had a passing audience. An elderly couple eyed them and Hinata bowed for them respectfully, gesturing for Sasuke to do the same.

Hinata turned back to him with blatant exasperation, reaching out carefully to grasp his elbow in her hand. She guided him to her side, but before moving towards the festival she glanced up at him and the falling sun managed to get caught in her eyelashes.

“I’m glad that you came,” she told him, ever gentle. Her expression shifted, protective and concerned. She reached up to his face, slow enough that he could stop her if he wanted—he didn’t. She traced the new lines on his face, carved there from fatigue, and worried her lower lip between her teeth.

“You look exhausted,” she said, eyebrows dipping uneasily.

Sasuke studied her for a long moment, memorizing her features again and again just because he could.

“I did not sleep well,” he said, deciding on a half-truth. He didn’t want her to worry. He should’ve known she’d see right through him.

“You mean _at all_ ,” she scolded, her tone too gentle to do any damage. Sasuke leaned down and pressed his forehead to her temple, needing her closeness, the fresh smell of something soothing on her skin.

“I mean at all,” he conceded, his voice barely audible. He closed his eyes, heard her sigh against him. One hand came up to trail her fingers through his hair from his ear to his nape. She gripped him there, just enough to ground him, and allowed him to stay pressed against her for a moment longer. When she carefully urged him away again, she lifted onto her toes and kissed the backs of his eyelids, feather light against his skin.

“Tonight,” she began cautiously, knowing this topic was at times a field of landmines, “May I come over?”

If Sasuke’s eyes had been open, he would’ve rolled them. Instead, his expression merely dropped, his lips frowning. “Of course,” he said, as if it was the silliest thing he’d ever heard, and he couldn’t believe he had to verbally sanction it. He opened his eyes and caught her smile, a ghost of the true depths of her compassion, all for him.

“Thank you,” she said, and that was frustrating, too. It was a sentiment he revisited often: he did not deserve her. “Let me know if it gets to be too much, okay?”

Sasuke nodded, studying the way Hinata’s gaze hardened, steadfast.

“Promise?” She demanded, very nearly putting her hands on her hips. Sasuke reached for her wrist, slid his fingers over the skin there, and intertwined their fingers together. When Hinata’s eyes dropped to follow the movement, he said, “I promise.”

Her eyes leapt back to his, studying his sincerity. After a moment she nodded, softening under his unwavering gaze once more. She began to guide them towards the festival, which was already loud enough that they could hear it through the streets and over the rooftops. Music played and laughter joined it, and Sasuke’s heart clenched in his chest. He could do this.

“You look very handsome,” Hinata whispered when they were only a few turns away from the festival, not looking at him. There was something about her tone that sounded wary; it had Sasuke glancing at her profile with veiled amusement, squeezing her fingers.

“Are you worried?”

She pursed her lips, still not looking at him.

“A little,” she finally admitted, turning up to him with a shy smile. “I’m going to be busy tonight, trying to convince everyone caught by your beauty that you’re already taken.”

Sasuke frowned at her wording, even as he silently found it charming. He had a reputation to uphold, however, so instead of leaning down and kissing her cheek for the compliment as he wished to, he playfully chided her.

“I’m not beautiful,” he grunted quietly, as the street ahead of them came into view. The sky was dark enough that the multitude of lights throughout the streets were already blazing bright, nearly neon. The atmosphere was alive with joy and celebration, so much so that even the buildings and vendors seemed to become sentient.

“You are,” Hinata argued, as she smiled at the front vendors who welcomed them. “Tonight especially.”

“Whatever,” Sasuke griped, before his eyes suddenly gleamed. He watched Hinata for her reaction as he said, “Good thing I chose a companion to whom I pale in comparison, then.”

Just as he’d intended and expected, her cheeks flared with heat. She didn’t look up at him, only huffed a quiet, “Oh, please.”

Feeling light and happier than he had ever expected in such an atmosphere, he continued with that same playful air. His words were still staccato, his normal tone with barely any change, his expression apathetic to the untrained eye. But Hinata could read him like an open book, and when she glanced up to him she immediately saw the amusement in his eyes, and the way it made them shine.

“I don’t like to share,” he warned her sternly. “I won’t tolerate intrusions.”

Hinata could hear the truth of the sentiment under the humor, but even still she rolled her eyes.

“No one is going to intrude upon anything,” she responded. “Naruto-kun cannot attend due to Hokage business, and Sakura-chan is on a mission.”

Sasuke couldn’t contradict her on that—if anyone would be brave enough or daft enough to intrude upon their space, it would be one of _his_ teammates. However, his mind caught on Hinata’s knowledge of Naruto’s whereabouts suspiciously. It was no secret that she had loved Naruto when they were kids and Sasuke had betrayed the village. It was also no secret that she had given up on the whiskered hero, serving only as a good friend of his and one of his closest advisors as Hyuuga Clan head.

Still, it stung that she had ever loved someone else—and someone so completely _different_ from himself.

He felt a muscle in his cheek twitch, his lips dropping into a frown. There were still lines of exhaustion on his face, probably extenuated with this expression, but he couldn’t help his mild irritation.

Hinata, however, nipped his suspicion in the bud before he could even let it grow.

“As the head of the Clan,” she began calmly, glancing up at him with something of her own kind of humor in her eyes. “It is my duty to meet with the Hokage regularly. A business relationship.”

Sasuke grunted, his pride forbidding him from pestering further, since she clearly knew what he was on about. He gripped her hand tighter and pulled gently in the direction of the street, his eyes trailing from vendor to vendor. He silently mapped all of their potential exits, the quickest and safest ways to secure Hinata’s protection. He studied the body language of everyone they passed, watched their expressions for any signs of hostility. This was something he could do; as a soldier, a warrior, one of the very best.

It didn’t hurt that it distracted him from the children that ran by with their parents in tow; the pair of brothers at the vendor to their right trying to win a goldfish by throwing tiny balls into tiny pots. Hinata’s thumb trailed over his hand in soothing lines.

Sasuke ignored the racing of his heart, which pumped with equal parts fear and resolve, and with Hinata at his side he tried to keep himself together.

He was stronger than his trauma.

And stronger still, with Hinata’s support.

 

✧

 

All things considered, the night went well. Sasuke’s demons stayed hushed but remained present in his mind, in the heaviness of his heart, but he enjoyed himself. He was naturally good at the vendor games and won Hinata several items she didn’t need, just to show that he could—and she won him several, too, though he was actually quite fond of the ceramic cat she’d won him by shooting a bow and arrow into five consecutive moving targets.

Perfect bullseyes, with her kimono sleeves pushed up.

He’d taken her for a detour into a back alley afterwards to properly show his appreciation, and by the time they made it back onto the street the moon was overhead and Hinata’s hair was a little more tousled than it had been prior. Hidden under the collar of her kimono was a mark on her collarbone, new and still slightly swollen; deliberately out of view.

Even though he had planned it perfectly and it was, in fact, out of view, Hinata self-consciously adjusted her kimono all throughout the night. Sasuke was amused by this and received a gentle reprimanding smack to the bicep when he allowed his smirk to grow wide enough to show teeth.

“Barbarian,” Hinata teased him, and Sasuke couldn’t help but to stare. She was so beautiful, and she was his. There wasn’t a day that passed that he did not marvel over this fact. He had spent years of uncertainty attempting to win her heart, to prove that he would love her tenderly. And amazingly, she had believed him—trusted him. He wanted to show her every day that she had made the right choice, that he was good for her, better for her than anyone else.

Possessiveness came naturally to him, and though Hinata sometimes reined him in, he had discovered her embarrassed partiality to the trait about a year into their relationship.

“Sasuke,” she called quietly, regaining his attention. He’d been staring blankly at a dango vendor, sidetracked with memories—first bad, so bad, because _he_ had always loved dango and then overcome with good when he shook them off and thought of the time when he and Sakura had pinned Kakashi after he’d refused to share his dango with them after a mission.

Sasuke turned to Hinata with residual feelings of joy caught in his chest, thanks to surprisingly fond memories.

Hinata was smiling, unreservedly content. Even hours into the festival, she still appeared as radiant as the first moment he’d seen her walk through the gates of her compound, putting the sunrise to shame. He knew her secret—the gentleness of her affection coupled with her kindhearted nature, the perfect recipe for her specific kind of glow.

Sasuke reached out to her and she folded into him immediately, encompassed in his hold.

Against his chest she asked, “Where should we go to watch the fireworks?”

Sasuke considered that, for a moment.

“Where do they usually fire them?”

Hinata pointed in a general direction, then up into the night sky. Sasuke considered the trajectory for only a moment, before he reached for Hinata’s hand.

“How much time do we have?”

Hinata pursed her lips, curious and suspicious. “Not much.”

“Is there anything else you’d like to do here?” He asked, gesturing towards the festival street, which had begun to gradually clear as people headed for the best spots to see the fireworks. Hinata adjusted her bag of spoils against her hip and shook her head even as she gazed up at him wonderingly.

Sasuke smiled. He reached down and lifted her into his arms, uncaring of the way she quietly sputtered or the glances they received. He was quicker than she was, and they didn’t have much time.

“Hold tight,” he warned her, and only after he felt her grasp on him strengthen did he move.

One moment they were standing there in the middle of the well-lit street, surrounded by families and couples celebrating the coming of summer. And then, they were gone.

Sasuke headed for the trees.

 

✧

 

Hinata did not question his course, not even when it led them outside of Konoha’s gates, or into the thick of the forest. She held tight, as he’d asked her to, and he felt the way she laid her head against him contentedly. She hummed curiously when he began to climb the trees, leaping from branch to branch until he landed on familiar space.

He allowed Hinata’s feet to drop down, find purchase on the bark. He had never brought her here before, though he knew that she knew he spent his mornings in the forest, alone. It had always been a place just for him, peaceful in its total solitude.

But she had helped him to conquer his fears during the festival, loosened him up enough that he’d even played _games_. He had not had a single panic attack. She had been there for him through it all.

So he brought her to this special place, allowed her to share it with him, and when he turned to her he could see in her eyes that she understood. She didn’t voice it, this time, but he could hear the words clearly in the softness of her grateful expression.

 _Thank you_.

He sat in his usual spot and gently tugged at her hand until she sat beside him, but that wasn’t close enough. He lifted her easily, pulled her into his lap, and ignored the way she made excuses about her weight, about making him uncomfortable. He wrapped his arm around her and gently ran his fingers through her hair, guiding her to rest against his neck.

They looked out over the seemingly endless expanse of canopies before them, through the gap Sasuke always watched the sun rise through. In seconds, the first whistling trail of a far off firework sounded, and together they watched the night sky come alive with colored flames in various intricate shapes.

Hinata settled in against him eventually, wrapping her right arm around the back of his neck, and Sasuke hugged her as close as he could. He didn’t care if he was clinging. Most of the time in this life he felt like he was clinging to something—just barely holding on.

There was nothing in the world so grounding as being loved unconditionally, and loving just so in return.

“Thank you,” Sasuke whispered amongst the explosions of light, pressing his lips to the hinge of Hinata’s jaw, her neck. She turned to him and Sasuke paid no attention to the fireworks going off behind her.

Instead, he watched the way her eyes caught the light and held it with honest affection, and bridled desire. He gazed up at her and hoped she understood the many facets of his graciousness, that it was meant for so much more than just this single night.

When she leaned forward and kissed him, gentle enough to shake his heart, he knew that she understood completely.

She said, “I love you, now and forever,” pressing the words against his lips, making him tremble. “You are mine, as I am yours.”

This time, he voiced it: “I do not deserve you.”

Hinata pulled back enough to let him see her expression, the certainty of her love carved into the kindness of her features. She gripped his face in her hands, her gaze unwavering.

“You deserve to be loved, and you are,” she promised, and it was a return welcoming, the same feeling all over again, a blessing and a rescue. “You _are_.”

She pressed her forehead to his, and both of them closed their eyes. They sat there, high above the rest of the world in the safe haven he’d built for himself and chosen to share with her, as close as two bodies and hearts could get, as the night sky came alive in front of them.

With Hinata there, loving him and being loved by him, everything in his past seemed to fall to the wayside; ever present, but muted. The shadows in him, extinguished by the light in her.

And maybe it was true, what she said about loving and deserving love.

Maybe they just had to do that part together.

And that, he thought, was something to look forward to.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!


End file.
